Homecoming – Friday Fictioneers

(100 word flash fiction)

HOMECOMING

He stood alone on the dusty little railway platform. The train, having sucked people into its metal belly, had rattled off. Where was his father?

Disappointed, he climbed into the solitary taxi. It was night when they reached his remote hamlet. When the driver stopped unexpectedly in the village square, he began to protest.

Suddenly, the place burst into light. Festooned with dried rice stalks, the square erupted with fireworks and the cheers of the entire village. His father stood beaming and his mother rushed forward to embrace him.

He had returned after 10 years, the hamlet’s first qualified doctor.

~~~

P.S. Wanted to write something positive this week after all the sad stories I’ve been writing πŸ™‚ but it seems it has come out rather flat 😦

Written for the amazing group Friday Fictioneers led by Rochelle. For the photo prompt below –

copyright - DLovering

40 comments on “Homecoming – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Definitely not flat – I really enjoyed this: the disappointment at the station (I loved the sucking the people into the metal belly bit btw) then the thrill of the fiesta. Great stuff.

  2. I really liked that description of the train sucking people into its belly! I don’t think it was flat, it was a sweet story. I think you could have reworded the ending better…I’d give suggestions but nothing comes to mind at the moment. But honestly, it was a heartwarming read, and a nice transition from a feeling of loneliness and disappointment, to one that’s celebratory.

  3. Dear Joyful,

    That’s how your story left me feeling. Joyful. I like the way you let us share in his disappointment at no one meeting him at the station. I felt the delicious surprise with him. Nice. Very nice indeed.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  4. Loved the beauty of it all-such a positive story πŸ™‚ I also loved the phrase,” The train, having sucked people into its metal belly.” Well done!

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