The ride

(100-word flash fiction)

Sharp slivers of pain slash into his chest. His breath grows ragged.

He looks sideways at his grandson. The 10-year-old is rapturously immersed in the steeplechase ride.

“Exactly how we felt,” they say, “each time you put a bullet into our chest.”

Despite the pain, he is amazed he is hearing voices above the din.

“You’re going through the stab of death each one of us felt.”

It dawns on him the voices are in his head.

“You’re going to be abjectly helpless.”

The pain reaches a crescendo. The ride, the voices, his heart, all stop at the same time.


Apologies for not responding to your comments on my last post. Work has been busy leading up to Christmas. Thank you Rochelle for yet another excellent prompt for Friday Fictioneers 😊

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot


53 comments on “The ride

    • Thanks Trish. He was indeed a criminal. The juxtaposition of the boy and the man brought to mind the fact that everyone is once upon a time innocent but life’s choices turn some into criminals.

  1. You give a provocative spin on the afterlife, Jolly. Maybe we spend it with those we’ve harmed along the way! Good storytelling, Jolly. Take it easy at work, my friend.

  2. I wonder if he was a soldier or a nastier sort of chap. The “helplessness” makes me think the latter. I feel sorry for the grandson, not knowing his past, finishing the ride only to find his grandad dead next to him 😦

C'mon, don't be a silent spectator ....

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